Confused Mother: Son Is Very Embarrassed That I Am Picking Him Up From School

Dear Agony Aunt,

I am writing to seek your advice on a matter that has been causing me great concern. My son, who is in primary 5, has suddenly expressed embarrassment about me picking him up from school in my car. For years, it has been our routine for me to collect him after school, and it has always been a time for us to chat and catch up on his day. However, recently he has asked me to park the car a distance away from the school and for him to walk there to meet me.

I am feeling confused and hurt by his request. I want to respect his feelings, but I also worry about why he suddenly feels this way. I don’t want to push him away, but I also want to understand what is going on and how to handle this situation. I would greatly appreciate any advice or insight you can offer.

Sincerely,
Confused Mother

Dear Confused Mother,

It’s understandable that you are feeling hurt and confused by your son’s sudden request. It’s important to remember that children go through various phases as they grow, and sometimes their behavior can change as they try to establish their independence and identity.

It’s possible that your son’s request to walk to meet you instead of being picked up directly is a way for him to assert his independence and feel more grown up. It’s also common for children his age to become more conscious of how they are perceived by their peers.

I would suggest having an open and honest conversation with your son about his feelings. Approach the topic with empathy and understanding, and let him know that you are there to support him. It’s important to validate his emotions while also expressing your own feelings about the situation.

Additionally, you could explore alternative pickup arrangements that make him feel more comfortable, such as meeting him at a designated spot a short distance from the school. This compromise may help him feel more independent while still maintaining your connection.

Above all, remember that this is a phase that many parents and children go through, and with open communication and understanding, you can navigate this situation together.

Best of luck,
Agony Aunt