Aunt Agony

I hope you can help me with a concern I have regarding my son, who is in primary school. Lately, he has been telling me that he doesn’t have enough time to eat his meals during school hours. As a result, he often comes home feeling tired and irritable.

After a bit of digging, I found out that he’s been spending his lunch money at the school bookshop instead of buying food. He even buys things for his friends, which I appreciate as it shows his kind-heartedness, but I’m worried that he’s neglecting his own needs.

I don’t want to discourage his generosity, but I’m concerned about his health and well-being. How can I talk to him about this without making him feel guilty for wanting to share with his friends? Should I set stricter boundaries on his spending? I would love to hear your thoughts on how to navigate this situation.

Thank you for your help!

Sincerely,
Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns about your son. First and foremost, it’s wonderful to see your commitment to his well-being and your desire to support his kind nature. Balancing generosity with self-care can be tricky, especially for young children who are still learning about priorities.

Here are a few suggestions to help you address this situation:

1. Open a Dialogue: Sit down with your son and create a safe space for him to express his feelings. Ask him about his day, his friends, and what he enjoys buying at the bookshop. This will help you understand his motivations better.
2. Discuss Needs vs. Wants: Use this opportunity to teach him about needs and wants. Explain that while it’s great to share and support friends, his primary need at school is to eat healthy meals to maintain his energy.
3. Set a Budget: Consider setting a weekly allowance for him that separates his lunch money from spending money. This way, he can learn to manage his funds while ensuring he has enough for meals.
4. Plan Together: Involve him in meal planning for school lunches. Make it fun! Let him choose healthy options that he can look forward to eating, which may help him prioritize his meals over other purchases.
5. Encourage Sharing Wisely: Talk to him about ways to be kind and generous that don’t involve spending money, like sharing toys or helping friends with their schoolwork. This way, he can still be a good friend without compromising his own needs.

Remember, it’s important to approach this conversation with understanding, so he doesn’t feel guilty for his actions. With your guidance, he can learn valuable lessons about self-care, budgeting, and friendship.

Best of luck, and remember that parenting is a journey filled with learning for both you and your son!

Warm regards,
Agony Aunt