Concerned Mother: Son thinks school is useless and more like a playground or daycare for older children

Dear Agony Aunt,

I hope you can help me with a situation that has been weighing heavily on my mind. My son is in primary school, and lately, he has been expressing some very concerning views about his education. He often tells me that he thinks school is “useless” and that it feels more like a daycare for older kids or just a playground.

He believes that he can learn everything he needs to know on his own, which worries me. While I appreciate his confidence and independence, I’m concerned that he might be missing out on valuable social interactions and structured learning experiences that school provides.

I’ve tried to talk to him about the importance of school and how it can help him grow, but he seems quite set in his beliefs. I don’t want to dismiss his feelings, but I also don’t want him to disengage from his education at such a young age.

What should I do? How can I encourage him to see the value in school without forcing him to go against his feelings?

Thank you for your guidance.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Mother

Dear Concerned Mother,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns about your son. It’s clear that you care deeply about his well-being and education, which is a wonderful foundation for addressing this issue.

Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge your son’s feelings. Children often express their thoughts in ways that can seem extreme, and it’s not uncommon for them to feel frustrated with the structure of school. His perception of school as a “daycare” or “playground” may stem from a desire for more engaging or challenging activities.

Here are a few steps you can take to help him:

1. Open Dialogue: Continue to have open conversations with him about what he finds unappealing about school. Ask him specific questions about his day and what he enjoys or dislikes. This will help you understand his perspective better.

2. Encourage Exploration: If he feels he can learn independently, encourage him to pursue topics that interest him outside of school. This could be through books, documentaries, or educational games. This way, he can see the value in structured learning while also exploring his passions.

3. Highlight the Social Aspect: Emphasize the importance of social skills and friendships that come from being in a school environment. Perhaps suggest extracurricular activities where he can meet peers with similar interests, which may help him see school as more than just academics.

4. Talk to His Teacher: Consider reaching out to his teacher to discuss his feelings. They may have insights into his behavior in class and can provide additional support or adjustments to keep him engaged.

5. Set Goals Together: Help him set small, achievable goals related to his schoolwork. Celebrate his successes to reinforce the idea that learning can be rewarding and fun.

Remember, it’s perfectly normal for children to go through phases of disinterest in school. With your support and understanding, he can develop a more positive attitude towards his education.

Take care, and keep the lines of communication open!

Warm regards, 
Agony Aunt