Worried Mother: Son spending so much money on worthless things in online games

Dear Agony Aunt,

I hope this email finds you well. I’m writing to you because I am genuinely worried about my son, who is in primary school. Lately, he has become obsessed with online games, and it seems to have spiraled out of control.

He spends a significant amount of his allowance and even asks for more money to convert into in-game currency. I’ve tried to explain to him that these purchases are just for virtual assets and don’t hold any real value, but he doesn’t seem to understand.

I feel like I’m losing control over the situation, and I’m concerned about the financial implications and the impact on his understanding of money. I want him to enjoy his hobbies, but I also want to teach him the importance of managing his finances wisely.

Do you have any advice on how I can address this issue without making him feel punished or ashamed?

Thank you for your help.

Sincerely,
Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns about your son’s online spending habits. It’s clear that you care deeply about his well-being and financial literacy, which is commendable.

First, it’s important to acknowledge that many children today are drawn to online games and the allure of in-game purchases. These games are designed to be engaging and often encourage spending, which can make it difficult for young minds to grasp the concept of money management.

Here are a few steps you can take to address this situation:

1. Open a Dialogue: Start by having a calm and open conversation with your son about his gaming habits. Ask him what he enjoys about the games and why he feels the need to spend money on them. This will help you understand his perspective and show him that you’re interested in his thoughts.
2. Set Clear Boundaries: Establish a budget for gaming expenses. You could allocate a specific amount of his allowance for in-game purchases each month. This way, he can enjoy his games but will also learn to manage his spending within limits.
3. Educate on Value: Use this opportunity to teach him about the value of money. Explain how spending on virtual items can add up and how he could use that money for something more tangible or meaningful. Perhaps you could even involve him in budgeting for a family outing or a small purchase he’s been wanting.
4. Encourage Other Activities: Help him explore other interests outside of gaming. Encourage him to participate in sports, arts, or other hobbies that don’t involve screens. This can help balance his time and reduce the temptation to spend excessively on games.
5. Monitor and Discuss: Keep an eye on his spending and have regular check-ins about his gaming habits. This doesn’t have to be intrusive; rather, frame it as a way to support him in making informed choices.

Remember, it’s important to approach this situation with understanding and empathy. Punishing him or making him feel ashamed may lead to secrecy or resentment. By guiding him through this learning experience, you can help him develop healthier habits around money and gaming.

I hope these suggestions help you navigate this challenging situation. Trust your instincts as a parent, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need further support.

Take care,
Agony Aunt